What do you do when your friend is going through one of the toughest times in her life and your very presence makes her feel worse?
Procreation is supposedly the most natural thing in the world. Why then can the process be a cruel, heart breaking, mind altering experience? I’ve been lucky, so unbelievably lucky. I’ve never known the sorrow of waiting for months, or years, to see that little blue cross appear on a little white stick. I’ve never known the heartbreak of a pregnancy ending too soon. I’ve never known the strength it takes to deal with the news there’s something wrong with your baby.
I’m not always so celebratory of my blessings. I whinge about the sleep deprivation, I moan about the tantrums and I struggle with feeling like I’ve sometimes lost me. But then life throws a real shit storm at someone you care about and in a split second you flit from ‘woe is me’ to ‘how unfair’ it is for others.
When a close friend is facing a truly heart breaking moment, desperate to complete their family, how do you comfort them sat there with your two healthy children? Of course not everyone reacts in the same way but when you know they can’t face being around babies what do you do?
Of course, the reality is it isn’t about you. It’s about them, their journey, their loss, their broken heart. But if you are that friend, if you need that distance, know this – you may need some space while you face some of life’s toughest challenges but although you may not see me I am here, I am with you, I support and I love you and I’ll be right here ready to talk, hug and cry together whenever you’re ready.